You Promise Me

I promise you, it's me-
I am the one destroying my soul-
I don't care what it is that they see;
I only care to fill this bottomless hole-

Here, deep inside, where I'm the filthiest-
Wretched, and I don't care-
It's hurting, but that is only this atheist
Heart getting what is fair.

I did this, and I hate me, too-
The poison that I drink is what I brew
In this empty cavern of a soul,
is this lust to take and give control-
To those- the libidinous, the wanton Bastards,
to whom I owe my life…, my hole.

Yes, this is all my wrong- I hate me-
Because you forced me to my knees, into this hell
and drowned me in this wretched sea
of waiting with anxious lips for the tolling of my bell.
Keep blaming me for your sickness, you fucking Bastards,
and I will wear this disgusting, filthy smile, for all that ends is well.